From One Washington to Another

Meltdown!!

2009-01-31T14:23:00.000-08:00

I had a pretty big work meltdown the Friday before the big inauguration. It is a long story, but the result was me feeling phenomenally depressed about my job and moving across the country to do a job that is different than the one I thought I was being hired to do. That, and the job they have me doing has the tendency to be really stressful and unpleasant because the client agency and its attorneys will not cooperate with us, we have truly difficult opposing counsel, and we have a hostile judge who wants to micromanage all aspects of the case. So -- every court appearance and court deadline has the potential to put us in a really bad position and leave us with potentially adverse precdents as a result. I had some long talks with my management about it all and they soothed some, but definitely not all, of my concerns. At least now I am not as depressed about it all and have been getting some sleep again.

The worst of it is that it all came to a head right when I was the most homesick. I really miss friends in Olympia and Steilacoom and feel bad that Ben and Annie can't play with their old dog park buddies anymore. For the first time I understood what it meant to miss something so much it physically hurt. And, it all got me thinking (a very dangerous thing!!!). I keep coming back to the fact that I have long had a tendency to emphasize work over personal friendships and relationships. I know that I have always had this tendency, but this really put it all in a new perspective - I put work over all else to move to Washington, and only now really realize what I left behind. I think I took friendships for granted, and this has made me realize how important relationships are in life, and if I had only spent the emotional energy on them that I wasted on work all this time, I wouldn't have minded the ups and downs at work so much. I let myself fill my time and brain and emotions with work and work issues, instead of putting something more pleasent -- like friends -- in there. It's all a really good lesson for me -- one that came at a slightly higher cost than maybe was necessary to get the point across, but ah well . . . I think I have always had a flair for doing things the hard way. Man, am I ready to choose easier ways to get through life instead!!

And as I have done several times now, when I am having "life doubts," I re-read Eat Pray Love. I so appreciate reading how this wonderful woman came from the absolute depths of soul-crushing despair to find peace, balance and happiness in her life. Granted, I think it is a little easier to engage in that quest for balance and happiness (and have it be a successful quest) when someone is paying you to travel to Italy, India and Bali to find your bliss. I wonder how her quest would have gone if she had to stay in her old apartment and just work things out . . . the book would not have been as good a read, that's for sure . . .

SO -- I am looking for a job back home, or looking to get DOJ to transfer me to Seattle. I realized after some hard thought that I really need to sell my Olympia house to have the financial freedom to come back. Right now, I have too much debt from the remodeling, the flood, and the move. It would be too hard to come back to my my house and have that debt to pay off in addition to other bills. If I sell my house, I can pay off the debt and still have a good solid down payment on a house in Oly, which I can buy virtually debt free. That gives me the freedom to find a job that may not pay as much, but may be more enjoyable. Plus, I can get a house that better suits me and Ben and Annie -- with less space inside, a more open floor plan, and a bigger outside for Ben and Annie. I just need to have some patience to try to stay tight and make some money here and light a few candles at the local church for a quick sale of my Olympia house! Unfortunately, patience has never really been one of my virtues -- when I see a problem that I want to solve, I want to solve it right away. If only I could travel to an Ashram in India to learn more patience . . . I will keep buying lottery tickets -- the best way I can think of to fund my soul-searching world tour!

Luckily the weather has been clear and sunny, which always helps my outlook on life! Tomorrow it is supposed to be sunny and 50, so I will put the iPod in my jersey pocket and hit the road for a long ride . . .

Settling In

2008-12-14T17:19:00.000-08:00

Well, it has been almost exactly two months since Ben and Annie and I arrived here at our new abode in Chester, MD, and we are settling in. I am getting used to our routines, and the fact that the East Coast tends to operate on a different schedule. For example, when I get up at my unusually early hour in the morning on the west coast, one can watch SportsCenter, or other shows that are on early on the east coast and broadcast at the same time on the west coast. Here, when I get up at my scarily early hour, none of those shows are on -- it is the best of info-mercials (so far I've only succumbed to one), and some scary late night reruns. The same holds true for NPR shows -- on the west coast they start as early as 4:00 with Morning Edition. Here on the east coast, one must listen to BBC programming until they folks here in DC finally get up and get broadcasting!

So -- to make up for missing a lot of the NPR shows I used to listen to, I am now a podcaster -- I listen to the shows I like on the bus as I commute. That is, I listen to them when I am not napping. Like a baby in a moving stroller or a car seat in a moving car, I find that when I get on the bus and it starts rolling down the highway I am overcome with the urge to sleep. As much as I try to do some focused and intense work, I inevitably conk out for at least part of the trip. I just hope I don't snore as much as the man who sits across the aisle from me . . .

In Oly I was used to shopping every day for something for dinner, and relying on some store's pre-made thing that I could just microwave. Here, though, the only pre-made stuff tends to have the words "wing," "casserole," or "fried" attached to it, so I am actually cooking more. Sundays tend to turn into Alex's domestic days -- today I did laundry, baked bread, mowed the lawn and made a giant batch of chicken curry that I hope will serve as dinner for the rest of the week. How domestic am I!! Martha Stewart ain't got nothing on me -- I can cook, etc., AND would have been able to represent myself in the insider trading lawsuit . . .

Work has been hopping and I am hoping one of my cases slows down soon. We are in front of a court of federal claims judge who is trying to micromanage discovery. So --- we have orders that require us to agree with the other side about what boxes of documents will be looked through, and then report back to her about what we found in each box by a specific date. It makes a lot more work than it all should be and seems unecessary -- oh well, what can you do? Ms. Napolean Complex-Judge holds all the power. I also have a case in Miami on the Everglades Restoration Project -- we went down for a hearing on a specific evidentiary issue and the Judge decided all on her own that the Plaintiff's first two claims have no merit, and then told the government to file a motion to dismiss the remaining claims within 30 days -- and told us she wasn't going to bother with the evidentiary issue. Wow -- a long trip for a lot of listening and not much action on the part of the attorneys. It was nice and warm in Miami, though . . .

Well -- back to the last few housework issues before I get back to the work grind tomorrow . . . Ben and Annie are conked out on the bed beside me and snoring away -- time for me to get ready to join them . . .

The Journey is SO Much More Than Just Getting From Here to There . . .

2008-11-17T16:36:00.000-08:00

Ben on Wye Island (above) -- to the right, he is in the Chesapeake at the end of one trail

Above -- Ben and Annie in our new back yard. to the right -- look -- Maryland license plates!! I put those on the same day I filled out my Washington ballot . . .

We found a park in Wisconsin that was right up our alley -- the car and Annie looked at bit worse for wear at this point . . .

The above are from Bear Tooth Highway in Montana -- we stopped at at a Lake and did some hiking.

Above we parked at Missourri Headwaters State Park and took a walk and Ben and Annie got their feet wet . . .

Our Adventures:

Well - I did a bunch of typing to create a detailed blog, but apparently all the typing I did to chronicle my, Ben and Annie's journey across the country got lost in translation to the blogo-shpere.

So -- here is the short version -- we went from Olympia to C'ouer d'Alene, where we stayed at a hotel just off the freeway (not near the lake, as their website had implied). Ben and Annie barked at the late nighters who had the audacity to walk down the hallways in the middle of the night, and they enjoyed the shiny bed spread. I think we were all glad to leave the rain and the cold of C'ouer d'Alene the next morning and head towards Bozeman, where we stayed with my old law school buddy Dick Dolan, his wife Laurie and his son Alex (I like to think they named Alex after me -- Dick and Laurie have even humored me by playing along with that thought). It was fun to see Dick and Laurie again, and to meet their Fox Terrier Sadie. Sadie wasn't so sure about Ben and Annie, but they all did really well considering Sadie is definitely the Queen of her domain. The only rough spot happened when Sadie decided to walk right up and get in Ben's face, to which he responded by peeing on a potted plant in the corner of the family room. THAT showed her . . .

We then drove through part of Yellowstone, on Bear Tooth Highway -- it reminded me of the road through Rocky Mountain National Park -- clear, beautiful scenery at insanely high altitude and at what feels like the top of the world. We came down off that windy road and headed for Sheridan Wyoming. From there we hit Sioux Falls South Dakota, Evansville Indiana, and (as the leaves on the trees changed coler and the weather actually got warmer) finally home to Chester MD.

Our house is great, and as advertised -- HUGE yard, and lots of bedrooms. When we arrived, we had an aero bed and a couple of suitcases full of clothes and dog supplies. Unfortunately, our furniture did not arrive for 5 days. So, Ben and Annie were a bit at a loss -- they were used to sleeping on the bed, and the narrow twin size aero bed just wasn't what they were hoping for. And, to avoid having the bed be too hard, I did not inflate it all the way, which created a bit of a waterbed effect. If I left something on one side of the bed, sitting on the other end tended to launch it across the room. Annie thought it was all too unstable, and besides, not big enough. Ben decided it didn't look too bad, and ventured onto the aero bed in the middle of the night one night when I got up to go to the bathroom -- I came back and he had curled up in the middle, taking up the whole bed. I took the sleeping bag and spent the rest of the night on the floor . . .

After 5 VERY long days, we were very glad to get our furniture -- I was also excited to see the PODS, because all my bikes and rowing equipment were in there. The first thing we set up was the bed, and then some chairs -- after having nothing to sit on but the floor and an aero bed, chairs were a godsend!! I am still only half unpacked, but at least have the essentials unpacked and have a vague idea of where everything is.

We got settled in and explored the areas parks and trails. Most weekdays we head to Terrapin Nature Trail, which goes right down to Chesapeake Bay -- which can be beautiful, or extremely windy, depending. Either way, it is a fun place to walk. We also head occasionally to Tuckahoe State Park -- it is a bit of a drive, but has a nice trail or two to run on. The bad part is that it is hunting season, so we end up wearing bright orange and making sure not to get in the line of fire. I have a bright orange hat that I wear, and Ben and Annie have neon orange collars. So far, the hunters we've come across haven't shot at us, so our protective measures must be working! We also walk (and run) at a place called Wye Island Natural Resource Management Area. In Maryland, "Natural Resource Management Area" apparently means "state-sponsored confined animal target shooting area." There are always LOTS of hunters at Wye Island, and from what we've seen, plenty of deer for them to hunt (including white tail and a lot of bucks). We've also come across skunks (from the inside of the car, luckily), squirrels (who apparently are on a steady diet of crack -- they are HYPER), a fox or two, and raccoons.

There are also amazing birds here -- hawks circle slowly, there are cardinals, herons, geese, and even buzzards -- I saw one of those taking off the other day -- and it was HUGE -- it makes you wonder how they can get all that bulk off the ground. At Wye Island, the Canadian Geese tend to congregate in large fields and then make a lot of noise --- it is an amazing site to see them all (like hundreds of them) out in a field, and then periodically take off in waves -- all the while honking away. The only word that comes to mind when I hear them is cacophony -- the word truly comes to life when I hear those geese . . .

There is also a whole new world in terms of flora and fauna -- instead of fir trees that deposit nice, tidy piles of needles in the back yard, we have trees that have a never-ending supply of leaves that they deposit in the back and front yards. And, after I carefully raked them up, the wind storm came in today, blowing 20-30 mile and hour winds, with gusts up to 40. Not only are my nice neat piles of leaves no longer there, but the couple of bags I managed to fill with leaves blew all the way across the yard and are pinned against the fence. Out at the parks where we walk, there are mystery plants that deposit soft-ball sized neon yellow fruits in the middle of the trail, and plants that grow burs the size of walnuts. Try to get THOSE out of a dog's fur! Until the weather got cold, we also were living in the land of ticks -- nasty little buggers that are not just prevalent, here, but ubiquitous. Ben and Annie are safe -- they have been vaccinated against Lyme disease and any other tick-borne illness. They have also been treated with a tick and flea repellant (that also repels chewing lice -- oh yay!! I would LOVE to run across those in the middle of the night sometime . . . ). I, however, am not similarly protected, and when the weather was warmer, I spent some seriously parnoid post-dog-walk time scrutinizing my legs and ankles for little black dots with legs. Luckily, you can find all sorts of information on ticks on the web -- like a tick needs to be "feeding" on you for 36 hours before it will have transmitted Lyme disease to you. Another fun tick fact -- a female tick can lay up to 1,000 eggs at a pop when they are fertile in the spring. I can't wait for spring!! Just so we are prepared, we bought a tick remover -- a bright orange miniature scoop device for easy tick removal! I have already had occasion to use it more than once . . .

I ventured out in my rowing shell via the creek at the end of my block -- beautiful -- but since that time either too windy or cold to head out again. I've also managed to ride my bike almost every weekend. The downside of living on the Eastern Shore is that the roads are FLAT -- literally the only hills are freeway overpasses. The countryside is beautiful, though -- New England farmland at its best. The down side of all those fields are the winds --- you have little protection from the wind, so I am getting my workout fighting the wind, instead of gravity on hills. One interesting thing is how literal these New Englanders are in naming roads. If a road has the word "Cemetary" in it, you can be sure a cemetary is on that road. Once road was named Dougan Cement Plant Road -- sure enough --- down the way was the cement plant. I guess it makes it easier, and a refreshing change from the Suburban tendency to name roads and subdivisions for what was displaced by the development (i.e. Cedar Grove Way, Deer Run Lane) -- here you can actually find what the road is named for . . .

I am now a commuter -- something I was lucky enough to avoid in Olympia. I take a bus that leaves from a park and ride near my house, and ride straight on into DC, where the bus drops me off about 5 blocks from work. I had forgotten what that is like -- probably 65% of commuters are wearing headphones and listening to something other than the people around them. There is another group of commuters that reads or sleeps on the bus -- one man was clearly in deep REM sleep, if his heavy breathing/snoring was any indication. Others work on laptops or watch TV shows they've downloaded. One night I saw a very tech-savvy-looking guy fire up his computer, and I watched to see what cool tech thing he would do or watch. Instead, he fired up an episode of Sheena the Warrior Pricess. Oh well -- whatever gets you through the commute . . . . One day I needed to get in early and took the 6:15 bus -- little did I realize what a happy little pack the 6:15-ers are!! They all knew each other, and were yelling back and forth to each other about plans for the weekend, the Redskins (a phenomenon of which I was completely unaware -- much of DC, Maryland and Virginia shut down when the Redskins play), etc. Most of the time I take a 7:00 bus, where we know each other enough to nod or discuss the weather, but not to engage in lengthy conversations. The biggest downside to the commute I have now is the bus service is limited -- I have to be out of work by 6:00 at the latest, or I miss my last bus. Unfortunately, a lot of the 20 and 30 somethings I work with live in DC, and they tend to roll into work at 10:00 and stay until 7:00 or beyond. Not a schedule I want to get used to . . .

Washington DC is interesting -- it is the land of the lanyard -- EVERYONE has a lanyard around their neck with at least one security ID card on the end, or (if they are really important), more than one. Apparently DOJ is cheap -- we just have metal chains as lanyards -- other federal employees have cloth ones with the name of their agency embroidered right in to the lanyard. The building where I work is close to a lot of stuff -- we can walk to the mall, NPR's national headquarters is right near my bus stop, you can walk to the White House, and the Verizon Center (where sports teams play and rock concerts are held) is just two blocks from work. I still have a lot of exploring to do, but there is so much, it is easy to miss a museum or theater just around the corner . . . . The Obama transition team has been holed up on the next block, which has meant increased security -- bomb sniffing dogs, police in full combat gear, full scans of cars going into the parking garage -- and all before Barak has even shown up at the headquarters.

One other observation -- license plates for DC residents say "Taxation Without Representation" -- and I thought New Hampshire's "Live Free or Die" was a statement. DC's is the most amazing example of government-endorsed petulance I think I have ever seen. It is one thing to have a chip on your shoulder about not having representation in Congress -- but to put it on the license plates of all DC residents? Wow . . . maybe Massachussetts should do some kind of similar thing for the Boston Tea Party . . .

We are all adjusting to the post-election world. A lot of government employees are trying to figure out what will change. For us at DOJ, there will be a new boss (a new Attorney General), but there will also bee important changes at the client agencies - you can tell the folks at Interior and elsewhere are nervous about what will happen.

There was an interesting editorial in the Washington Post -- it talked about what "post-racial" means and whether we are now a "post-racial" society in the wake of the election. One commentator noted that Obama is half-black, yet he identifies himself as a black man - and his victory is hailed as being the first black man elected President. It raised the question of what it means to be mixed race, and whether it is inevitable that one will pick just one race to identify with over another. Another commentator was African American, and she said she wasn't ready for a "post-racial" world -- she didn't want to give up her identity as an African American, and did not want to live in a world where that identity did not matter. Interesting -- maybe as much as we say we want to move past race, we aren't ready to . . .

On a side note -- we are all very excited -- Annie has finally (after 2 years) learned to use a dog door. We are so proud! It is great because the weather has been freezing and I am glad not to have to open the door to let her out and wait until she finishes and comes back inside. It tried to snow yesterday and today --- brrrr . . . it has been in the 20's a few times, but overall it is sunny and beautiiful, even if freezing cold. Ben LOVES the cold -- he spends most of his time running around like he is a puppy -- Annie and I just watch, puzzled at how he can not just not get older, but actually seem to get younger before our eyes . . .

Well -- I will continue to blog and will post pictures as I go. I miss everyone a LOT -- every now and then something reminds me of you folks, and it is hard -- I see a mint-green Passat, and think of Kevin, think of Kerri Duke as I scrutinize the Maryland Gazateer for bike riding options, see Lance saying he will do the Tour again, and imagine Steve Jones booking his frequent-flyer flight to the prologue and the many sign-stealing opportunities there will inveitably be. Sundays I miss rowing with the girls and going for coffee after. As much as I have beeen cooking more, I am still not ready to raise my own poultry (Emily)! I hope to head back to the great Northwest as soon as I can!! I will write more soon . . .